First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
