Buhtt sex?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
