Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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