there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize