plz talk dirty to me
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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