my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
