Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize