Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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