sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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