"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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