Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
