I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
send nudes
from the living room?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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