I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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