the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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