Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize