I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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