Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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