omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
