Do vagina's smell?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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