I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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