Yo dont text me then not text me
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize