Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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