Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
