fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
