she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
