I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
