I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
