yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
