I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
