she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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