god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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