i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
