he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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