dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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