you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
