Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
