maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Randomize
