I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
