Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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