are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
True college students do jello shots in the library
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
