Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
one two three fourrrrnication!
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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