Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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