Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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