True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
