I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
