So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
