we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
