Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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