I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
