i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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