I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
