is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize