I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
