Kiss
Puke
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
