I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
