roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
