I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
