cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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