I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
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