it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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