so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
