Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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