brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
MIDGETS
????
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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