It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
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