We're facebook friends in real life
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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