is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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