We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
soo... how was my night?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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