I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
