i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
