Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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