We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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