Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Of course I have a pirate flag
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
