Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
