Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
