It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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