I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
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